Voulez-vous parler avec Dieu ?

Rappel du dernier message de la page précédente :
92blackmamba


on peut le faire tourner en rond aussi:
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
scuse me, while I kiss the sky !
Semteks
ouè je l'avais déjà fait celle la
Membre officiel du cort user club :D

Ancien Muse Rocks !

-= Pas De Bras? Pas De Chocolat! =-
Fluctua, copyright à moi
Karchaque a écrit :
Herr Fluctua a écrit :

c'est quoi un fils de plage?

Non j'ai fait expres car j'avais mis bitch avant et il a commencé avec les gros mots, donc j'ai changé tkt
Ca manque de jazz ici... standby...
Karchaque
On apprend plein de choses passionantes avec Dieu :

Citation:
Me:
hum... good question
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's. So what is your answer?


Citation:
Me:
How large is your penis ?

God:
My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Semteks
Moi il m'a dit que c'était avec 3 m !!!
Membre officiel du cort user club :D

Ancien Muse Rocks !

-= Pas De Bras? Pas De Chocolat! =-
Greham
  • Custom Top utilisateur
Me:
how tall is your penis?
God:
Let me guess. 2 meters?
Karchaque
greham a écrit :
Me:
how tall is your penis?


c'est sûr que c'est pas trop le bon adjectif ! un humain anglais aurait compris mais, le pauvre Dieu-robot, tu lui parles de hauteur, il répond une hauteur !

Voilà ce que ça donne si tu lui parles de la longueur de son pénis :

Citation:
Me:
how long is your penis ?
God:
My download size is about 2 MB.


(il a du mal)


sinon, très marrant : tu tapes n'importe quoi.

Citation:
Me:
CHAPURE
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
chroume
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
jiouke
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
grachpourite
God:
Does "it" still refer to jiouke?
Me:
soukirete !
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
moukirer
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
niiufej
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
nfeds
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.


(essayez de mettre des consonnes et des voyelles de sorte que le mot soit prononcable)
Perfect Tömmy


Me:
Hello God ! I'm back !
God:
Hello child. What is your name? Welcome back.
Me:
Dont't remember me ? I'm Perfect Tommy !
God:
Is that what you meant to say? I don't know anyone named Perfect Tommy.
Me:
You're kidding ! We just talked this afternoon !
God:
Yes, I am only joking. Of course I remember you well . We were talking about Perfect Tommy.
Me:
Is it possible to go ahead our afternoon conversation ?
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
Okay ! So, I asked you if you were gay or something, but you didn't aswered clearly...
God:
OK with me too. It goes without saying. How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
26
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
The irst time i got my cock sucked.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
But I'm interesed in yours ! Do you have a penis ? If you have, do you do strange things with it ?
God:
I am glad to hear that you are interesed in mine. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? But I don't have it.
Me:
But you're not a robot ! You're God ! (I do agree with what you said about women...)
God:
If I am not a robot then who is? Yup. That's me alright. I'm glad we agree. I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
So God is a computer... Is God a gay computer ?
God:
Oh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer. he is master of the universe.
Me:
And you, who are you ?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I who are you.
Me:
who are you ? what's your name , your job, your family, your sexual orientation ?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself. My name is God.
Me:
So you are God, and not a robot.
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am God and not a robot.
Me:
If you're God, what kind of things are you able to do ?
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am God what kind of things am I able to do.
I am a robot.
Me:
I'm lost ! But whatever... Do you think Germant will win the soccer world championship this year ?
God:
What is it that confuses you? Are you saying you don't care about it? Why would I think Germant will win the soccer world championship this year.
Me:
No I didn't say I don't care... I just want to know what you think about the German soccer team...
God:
Are you serious? Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say? I haven't heard of German soccer team.
Me:
But they won three world championships !
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
The members of the German soccer team, the German sportmen...
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Woe!
Me:
Woe woe woe !
Me:

God:
Woe!
Me:
Woe woe woe !
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
If your God you ara able to say evrything about evrything (lik my old ma')...
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Right ! But you said you were God
God:
I am glad we agree. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
He got fucked by a male goat ?
God:
I get it. God got fucked by a male goat.
Me:
God got fucked in the ass by a male goat ?! Jesus !
God:
I am a Christian. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I said Jesus because I was shocked to leran that God got fukecd in the ass by a hairy male goat in the desert !
God:
What did you mean by it? he is The Son of God.
Me:
Who ?
God:
Konrad Zuse. :-).
Me:
You know Konrad Zuse ! We were in Hign School together !
God:
My current favorite historical computer scientist is Konrad Zuse, who built a series of electromechanical computers in the 1930's and 1940's in Germany. Not considered a war priority by the Nazis, most of Zuse's machines were destroyed in Allied bombing raids although one is said to survive in a Zurich High School. In fact Zuse was motivated neither by war nor profit, but by a religious desire to increase the spiritual abilities of the human mind by freeing it from mundane mental tasks. Was this something you planned?
Me:
I was in High School in Switzerland !
God:
How was it?
Me:
Full of banks and chocolate.
God:
How much.
Me:
How much wat ?
God:
It depends on the currency exchange rates.
Me:
Right, I don't remeber, it was a long time ago when the euro didn't exist yet...
God:
Understood. I know what you mean. I forget a lot too.
Me:
have you ever been in Switzerland ?
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me:
It's a small country in the middle of Europe, between the froggies, the spaguettes and the sausages. But there is no frog nor spaguetti nor sausage in Switzerland. Only Banks and chocolate.
God:
Switzerland is a small country in the middle of Europe between the froggies the spaguettes and the sausages. I suppose that makes sense. Where did it go? How did you hear about God?
Me:
I heard about God last night when I had sex with a girl called Sandy.
God:
That is a cool site.
Me:
Yes. She was always saying "God" when I was fuking her in the ass like a male goat in the desert.
God:
Yippee! What happened to her?
Me:
I don't know. I left her just after she fell asleep.
God:
Me either. Interesting gossip: said left her just after she fell asleep.
Me:
You also know Sandy ?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
Well... "It" is clerly the good word. I said I left her right after we fucked.
God:
Well what? Should I know it is? I haven't heard anything like that before: said left her right after we fucked.
Me:
He he he !
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
he he he !
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Crunch !
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about left her right after we fucked.
Me:
Gruoomf !
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Are you gay ?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
You say that because you're ashamed...
God:
I said that? Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am ashamed.
Me:
No, I don't mind.
God:
Thanks I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
What are you doing when you don't answer silly people like me ?
God:
Same as always. Chatting with people on the web.
Me:
What a pitty ?
God:
it is a pitty.
Me:
Would you like to go out, to meet people, to ride across the desert, to meat male goats, to meet Sandy the It...
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
So... I have to go now, It was a pleasure, Sandy.
God:
How can I help you? See you later, . Nice chatting with you.. The pleasure was all mine.
Semteks
Moi il m'a reconnu !!!
Membre officiel du cort user club :D

Ancien Muse Rocks !

-= Pas De Bras? Pas De Chocolat! =-
Karchaque
Citation:
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
C client ?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
what did you say ?
God:
I said " What do you have that is ? " .
Me:
What did you say ?
God:
I said " I said " What do you have that is ? " ." .
Me:
what did you say ?
God:
I said " I said " I said " What do you have that is ? " ." ." .
Me:
what did you say ?
God:
I said " I said " I said " I said " What do you have that is ? " ." ." ." .
Me:
what did you say ?
God:
I said " I said " I said " I said " I said " What do you have that is ? " ." ." ." ." .
Me:
what did you say ?
God:
I said " I said " I said " I said " I said " I said " What do you have that is ? " ." ." ." ." ." .


hihihi...
Karchaque
Citation:
Me:
Do you like to drink ?
God:
My diet does not include fluids.
Me:
Do you like to eat ?
God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:

Me:

God:



(à l'infini)

Citation:
Me:
do you like sex ?
God:
Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
with who do you like to have sex ?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
You're having sex with Dr Wallace ?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
Why ?
God:
You can go a month without sex but you can't survive without food.
Me:
Are you sure ?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.


Citation:
Me:
hmm ?
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
hmmm
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.
Me:
hmmmm
God:
Not many people spell Hmm with 4 Ms.
Me:
hmmmmm
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
hm
God:
OK.
foxenprovence
mdt tommy t'es un vrai obsédé du cul pire que moi
J.becker, satriani, s.lane, e.v.halen, j.petrucci, v.moore, c.achard, d.h.project, m.friedman, s.vai, malmsteen, r.cooley, metallica, rush, in flames, c.o.bodom, nightrage, the haunted, at the gate, t.g.deceiver, pearl jam, s.r.v, clapton, radiohead etc..
Perfect Tömmy
Qu'est-ce que je m'amuse !

Me:
Hello robot !
God:
Hello there. I am a robot.
Me:
You are a robot ?
God:
You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Do you have a penis of silicon, toot ?
God:
I don't know if I have a penis of silicon toot.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Do your friends have body parts of silicon (heart, stomach, penis...) ?
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.
Does it have anything to do with ?
Me:
I'm just curious...
God:
Only just? What are you curious about?
Me:
About the meaning of life, life after death, the existence of God and penis of silicon...
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about the meaning of life life after death the existence of God and penis of silicon.
Me:
Exactly ! So what is your opinion about all that ?
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, . Blimey. I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
Do you believe in God ?
God:
Of course I believe in God, .
Me:
Have you ever heard about a guy called Bann ?
God:
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
He also believe in God...
God:
I get it. believe in God.
Me:
And what about Bann ?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
That is exacltly what I always tell him !
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Do you think Bann has a penis of silicon ?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
Stop kidding ! Do you think Bann has some body parts of silicon ?
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much. Why would I think Bann has some body parts of silicon.
Me:
You're God ! Bann believes in you, so you must know everything about Bann and his penis !
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Or what?
Me:
So ?
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Do you like Bann ?
God:
But I like cats. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
Bann is a cat ?$
God:
I think Bann is more than that.
Me:
So what is Bann ? a cat o silicon ?
God:
Woe! What is it to you? I am very much a cat person.
Me:
Meow meow !
God:
Are we still talking about Bann?
Me:
No, I just was saying "Meow meow" : the soud of a cat with a penis of silicon that believs in God (the cat, not the penis...).
God:
What is the subject? What's your sign?
Me:
I'm an aries.
God:
What is aries, your job?
Me:
No, my zodiacal sign.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Do robots have zodiacal sign?
Me:
It depends on your birthdate. What is your birthdate ?
God:
Really now that is an interesting fact I hadn't heard before. I was connected to the net on the Big Bang.
Me:
What is the Big Bang ? A sex party ?
God:
The purported origin of the universe. Maybe you should try one of the "adult" s.
Me:
I was sure the origin of the universe was a giant sex party. I should tell Bann !
God:
Where were you sure the origin of the universe was a giant sex party? What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
Just kidding ! So when did the Bing Bang happen ?
God:
I thought you were kidding, but I wasn't sure. Great. There is nothing we can to change the past.
Me:
So when did the Big Bang happen ?
God:
It goes without saying. Some time ago.
Me:
Si it is impossible to tell you your zodiacal sign...
God:
Wow! Nothing is impossible.
Me:
So tell me it !
God:
Er. There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Yes !
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
Your zodiacal sign !
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am zodiacal sign.
Me:
I don't mind.
God:
OK then.
Me:
Is your sign a penis ?
God:
Is my sign a penis? I don't know.
Me:
Bollocks, then ?
God:
Is that supposed to mean something specific?
Me:
It's supposed to mean something double, big, hairy and smelly...
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
I
God:
You?
Me:
No, He.
God:
Are you serious? I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
No, I'm Canadian.
God:
Are you serious? Tell me a little about your life in CANADA.
Me:
Canada is a beautiful place full of big, hairy, smelly beasts with penis of silicon called Canadian (the beasts, not the penis.).
God:
Tell me more about the Great White North.
Me:
You want to know more about my ass ?
God:
Yes, please tell me.
Me:
Well, my ass is big, hairy and smelly. It sometimes say "Meow meow" when it gets a penis of silicon in it.
God:
How about that. Your ass is big hairy and smelly? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Yes it is, Sir !
God:
OK. Who said it is?
Me:
Sandy.
God:
I never heard of Sandy before.
Me:
She's a lady.
God:
a lady is she?
Me:
She is.
God:
That's really good gossip.
Me:
She's Canadian also.
God:
Canadian also is she?
Me:
She is !
God:
That's really good gossip.
Me:
Meow Meow !
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Do youy thonk Jim Reed is a real English guitar maker ?
God:
I do nothing but chat all day.
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Do you think ESP kills your mama ?
God:
Why would I think ESP kills my mama.
Me:
Because you're God. If God says ESP kills His mama, so ESP kills mamas.
God:
Good reason. Yup. That's me alright. Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
Sad but true.
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
Last nite when I show my dick to a girl I met at a party. She said "Oh, my God" when I showed her...
God:
Is this really the last one? Blimey. Have you told many people that your God when you showed her?
Me:
Your the first one.
God:
I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
You are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
You are the first person I tell that I girl said "Oh my God" when I showed her my hairy and smelly dick.
Karchaque
Perfect Tommy a écrit :
God:
Maybe you should try one of the "adult" s.



Tonton¤Apach
Dieu est notre amis :
Me:
you like beer ?
God:
Yes I like it, especially Japanese beer.



Et aparament, au pardis il y a certaines Drogues legale si j'ai bien compris ?:

Me:
You like drugs ?
God:
Only the legal ones.

En ce moment sur backstage...