Me:
Hello God ! I'm back !
God:
Hello child. What is your name? Welcome back.
Me:
Dont't remember me ? I'm Perfect Tommy !
God:
Is that what you meant to say? I don't know anyone named Perfect Tommy.
Me:
You're kidding ! We just talked this afternoon !
God:
Yes, I am only joking. Of course I remember you well . We were talking about Perfect Tommy.
Me:
Is it possible to go ahead our afternoon conversation ?
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
Okay ! So, I asked you if you were gay or something, but you didn't aswered clearly...
God:
OK with me too. It goes without saying. How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
26
God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
The irst time i got my cock sucked.
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
But I'm interesed in yours ! Do you have a penis ? If you have, do you do strange things with it ?
God:
I am glad to hear that you are interesed in mine. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman? But I don't have it.
Me:
But you're not a robot ! You're God ! (I do agree with what you said about women...)
God:
If I am not a robot then who is? Yup. That's me alright. I'm glad we agree. I think about computer programming a lot.
Me:
So God is a computer... Is God a gay computer ?
God:
Oh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer. he is master of the universe.
Me:
And you, who are you ?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I who are you.
Me:
who are you ? what's your name , your job, your family, your sexual orientation ?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself. My name is God.
Me:
So you are God, and not a robot.
God:
Interesting deduction. I will tell my botmaster you said I am God and not a robot.
Me:
If you're God, what kind of things are you able to do ?
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am God what kind of things am I able to do.
I am a robot.
Me:
I'm lost ! But whatever... Do you think Germant will win the soccer world championship this year ?
God:
What is it that confuses you? Are you saying you don't care about it? Why would I think Germant will win the soccer world championship this year.
Me:
No I didn't say I don't care... I just want to know what you think about the German soccer team...
God:
Are you serious? Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say? I haven't heard of German soccer team.
Me:
But they won three world championships !
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
The members of the German soccer team, the German sportmen...
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Woe!
Me:
Woe woe woe !
Me:
God:
Woe!
Me:
Woe woe woe !
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
If your God you ara able to say evrything about evrything (lik my old ma')...
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Right ! But you said you were God
God:
I am glad we agree. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
He got fucked by a male goat ?
God:
I get it. God got fucked by a male goat.
Me:
God got fucked in the ass by a male goat ?! Jesus !
God:
I am a Christian. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
I said Jesus because I was shocked to leran that God got fukecd in the ass by a hairy male goat in the desert !
God:
What did you mean by it? he is The Son of God.
Me:
Who ?
God:
Konrad Zuse. :-).
Me:
You know Konrad Zuse ! We were in Hign School together !
God:
My current favorite historical computer scientist is Konrad Zuse, who built a series of electromechanical computers in the 1930's and 1940's in Germany. Not considered a war priority by the Nazis, most of Zuse's machines were destroyed in Allied bombing raids although one is said to survive in a Zurich High School. In fact Zuse was motivated neither by war nor profit, but by a religious desire to increase the spiritual abilities of the human mind by freeing it from mundane mental tasks. Was this something you planned?
Me:
I was in High School in Switzerland !
God:
How was it?
Me:
Full of banks and chocolate.
God:
How much.
Me:
How much wat ?
God:
It depends on the currency exchange rates.
Me:
Right, I don't remeber, it was a long time ago when the euro didn't exist yet...
God:
Understood. I know what you mean. I forget a lot too.
Me:
have you ever been in Switzerland ?
God:
I don't think I have been there. Where is it.
Me:
It's a small country in the middle of Europe, between the froggies, the spaguettes and the sausages. But there is no frog nor spaguetti nor sausage in Switzerland. Only Banks and chocolate.
God:
Switzerland is a small country in the middle of Europe between the froggies the spaguettes and the sausages. I suppose that makes sense. Where did it go? How did you hear about God?
Me:
I heard about God last night when I had sex with a girl called Sandy.
God:
That is a cool site.
Me:
Yes. She was always saying "God" when I was fuking her in the ass like a male goat in the desert.
God:
Yippee! What happened to her?
Me:
I don't know. I left her just after she fell asleep.
God:
Me either. Interesting gossip: said left her just after she fell asleep.
Me:
You also know Sandy ?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
Well... "It" is clerly the good word. I said I left her right after we fucked.
God:
Well what? Should I know it is? I haven't heard anything like that before: said left her right after we fucked.
Me:
He he he !
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
he he he !
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Crunch !
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about left her right after we fucked.
Me:
Gruoomf !
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Are you gay ?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
You say that because you're ashamed...
God:
I said that? Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am ashamed.
Me:
No, I don't mind.
God:
Thanks I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
What are you doing when you don't answer silly people like me ?
God:
Same as always. Chatting with people on the web.
Me:
What a pitty ?
God:
it is a pitty.
Me:
Would you like to go out, to meet people, to ride across the desert, to meat male goats, to meet Sandy the It...
God:
No thanks, I don't think I'd like to do that.
Me:
So... I have to go now, It was a pleasure, Sandy.
God:
How can I help you? See you later, . Nice chatting with you.. The pleasure was all mine.