I’ve often been asked, “What is your favorite music to fuck to?” Well, as a certified professional, it’s probably safe to assume that I can make the magic happen to pretty much anything from Stravinsky to Marvin Gaye, but I must admit that the appropriate soundtrack can make a difference, and nothing gets the juices flowing quite like heavy metal.
“Hold on,” you might think, “heavy metal is a broad category that encompasses numerous sub-genres.” Well, that is certainly true, so let me narrow it down a bit for you. Let’s say you had the opportunity to shoot your own porno co-starring me, Bobbi Starr, and we have decided to use one entire metal album as the soundtrack for your scene.
As the hypothetical director and producer of this fine film, I have decided, based on extensive research, that our talents as fornicators would be best complemented by Metallica’s Ride the Lightning. This hard-hitting second album still embodies Metallica’s raw, thrash roots, while giving you a little taste of their transition to the more polished, melodic sound of Master of Puppets. Here’s a quick run-down of what a story board for this scene might look like (wait… porn scenes have story boards?):
1. “Fight Fire With Fire” gives us a solid forty seconds of romantic, melodic intro music to set the scene and introduce the characters. With that out of the way, we’re ready to jump into the action with high-intensity throat fucking! The lyrical theme of Armageddon brought on by nuclear warfare makes it clear that this will be a dark yet honest film with serious social commentary.
2. “Ride the Lightning”’s heavy opening riff lets us know that we’ve wasted enough time on foreplay, and it’s time to get down to business. You grab me by the hair, throw me back into a chair (loosely representative of the electric chair in the song), and begin thrusting your throbbing member betwixt my engorged labia to the driving rhythm of the song. As you tower over me in the dominant position, I can connect to the song’s theme of a situational lack of control.
3. “For Whom the Bell Tolls” slows down to the tempo of the church bells, giving you the perfect opportunity to turn me over and mount me from behind. Your thrusting will lock into the groove as the guitar begins its descending staccato riff. Our more literary viewers will appreciate the reference to the late, great Ernest Hemingway, whose morbid tale regained popularity with this haunting musical rendition of a scene from his original story.
4. “Fade to Black” provides us with another instrumental interlude, the perfect opportunity to introduce our other co-star (did I forget to mention that this was a three-way scene?). Another man saunters into the room, suggesting to the audience that this could eventually lead to some double penetration action. I use my reputably talented tongue and lips to warm him up while you continue to ride me doggy-style. As the intensity builds during the guitar solo over the last two minutes of the song, you see your chance to slide your cock into my eagerly awaiting anus.
5. “Trapped Under Ice” throws us back into high gear with the fast tempo and thrashing riffs. I spin around, taking your cock out of my ass and shifting it into my mouth, allowing our new friend to take a refreshing dip in my gaping rectal cavity. Overwhelmed by the intensity of our situation, I can be heard moaning in ecstasy as the band chants, “Screamin’!”
6. The moderate groove of “Escape” gives the guys some time to take turns penetrating each of my various moistened orifices. As the only track on the album that is more about living rather than dying, this will be the most uplifting scene in our film, filling our viewers with hope for the future.
7. “Creeping Death” steals that hope away and gets us thrashin’ again, letting us know that it’s time to kick this shit into high gear and give the people that double penetration action they’ve been waiting for. You pick me up from behind and lower my asshole down onto your mighty rod, giving our mutual friend easy anterior access to my cunt. We don’t waste any time building up the intensity to this dark tale of ancient Egypt. The sequence of hits during the last ninety seconds of the song will be accompanied by fast cuts of the reaming of my adjacent orifices from various angles.
8. “The Call of Ktulu” brings us into the final scene with a mellow, yet haunting guitar intro. At this point, I’ll drop down to my knees and begin to pleasure both men orally, leading to the classic pornographic culmination of events. As this instrumental ballad progresses, I suck and stroke both of you more aggressively until you both shower my face with streams of thick, hot cum. With the return to the acoustic guitar in the outro, our scene will fade out as I rub the copious amount of semen all over my face and tits and lick it off my finger tips.
There you have it — a solid 47 and a half minutes of hard-core porn with a killer soundtrack and a little bit of something for everyone. With a pitch like that, we should be able to find some financial backing for this project in no time!
-Bobbi Starr
